There’s a line about “little mice” and “young mice” being called “Little Mouse” capitalised. It’s a bit inconsistent. But overall, the prose is serviceable.
Consort De's scene gave me chills. The way she eyed Yi Xiu's belly and questioned its size felt genuinely threatening. It's clear she's a manipulator, and I'm glad Yi Xiu didn't let her touch the belly. This is the kind of subtle tension I love in palace dramas.
The interaction between Su Zhiruan and the emperor in the imperial study is subtle but loaded. When he asks her name and she says "Su Su," his reaction—"Her name suits her"—feels like a first hint of interest. But the power imbalance is clear. She's limping, and he notices but doesn't show overt concern. That distance feels realistic for a ruler. And Xiao Fuzi, the chief eunuch, reading the emperor's subtle interest? That's good drama. The court politics are already simmering.
The scene where the old man teaches the familiar to speak is surprisingly sweet. He's been living with her for years without knowing his own familiar's opinions. That small development – her saying "talking is troublesome" – tells you a lot about both of them in just a few lines.
Shen Fei's emotional journey in these few pages is already compelling. She goes from panic and confusion to acceptance and determination. When she thinks "I need an identity" and starts planning for her child's future, I felt her shift from victim to survivor. That resilience makes me root for her.