Overall, the opening is strong. It introduces two interesting worlds and a central mystery that connects them (the money). The writing is a bit purple at times with the descriptions, but the plot and characters are compelling. I’d definitely read the next chapter to see if Rosen really is the sheep mage.
2 The decision to make Ronnie emotionally apathetic is a bold choice. It means he won’t cry over dying or cheer for victories. But the author still makes him engaging through humor and curiosity. The complaint about the system being defective is funny because he cares enough to be annoyed. So he’s not completely numb just selectively invested. That’s good writing.
I appreciate that the novel acknowledges the protagonist’s gaming background in a meaningful way. The Collection Technique isn’t just a random power; it’s tied to his history as a gamer. This makes the cheat feel like an extension of his past life rather than something given arbitrarily. It’s a nice bit of continuity that gives his backstory more weight.