Translation quirks: some phrases like “This servant is guilty” or “Third Young Madam” feel authentic to a wuxia/costume drama translation. It’s not super polished English, but it has a distinct voice. I personally like it for genre immersion. It tells me this is a direct translation of a Chinese web novel, which comes with certain expectations.
Hinami’s decision to sacrifice everything for Hana is the emotional hook, and it works. But I’m a little worried that the story will forget about Hana once she’s in the other world. The God said she “completely recovered,” so that’s settled. But Hinami’s original world and family are gone now. She’s cut off completely? The God didn’t say anything about being able to go back or contact them. That’s a huge loss. She didn’t even get to say goodbye to her parents properly — she just went to pay the taxi and ended up in another world. The story glosses over that grief. I hope later chapters will show her processing that loss, maybe through the exchange diary. If she just cheerfully explores a new world without ever looking back, that would feel unsatisfying.