2 I'm a little concerned about the story's focus. It started as a very gritty workplace drama (construction safety) and then bounced to a fantasy adventure. I like both, but the transition is abrupt. The flashback to the theater accident with Tateyama feels like a separate short story. I wonder how the author will weave these threads together. Will we see Eguchi in the fantasy world trying to find a way back, while his colleagues in Japan investigate his disappearance? The setup is there with the two different investigations happening.
The scene with Chen Xiaoan at the pastry shop is a masterclass in foreshadowing. Shen Zhiyin giving her a yellow talisman and warning her not to get involved in conflicts? And then it actually saves her life? I was on the edge of my seat during that husband-wife fight scene. The way the talisman faded overnight, proving it used up its power to protect her—that's such a good payoff. It immediately establishes that Shen Zhiyin's abilities are real and that her warnings carry weight. No wasted setup here.
I have to talk about the hunting dogs. The narrative mentions them so casually, but the fact that Chu Liang had trained them well enough to take hits from a bear? That's a bond. Their deaths aren't melodramatized, but they hang over the story. When he takes down the smoked meat, I remembered that those dogs helped him hunt that meat. The loss is felt even if it's not dwelled on. Good worldbuilding through absence.
Speaking of characters: He Huiling and Wang De. They are basically wallpaper now—just good parents who feed their kid and run a shop. I don’t expect every character to be deep, but it’s a little flat. The dad wants to buy a sedan, that’s his entire personality so far. I’m hoping the alien discovery pulls them into the story more, because right now they feel like props in a family slice-of-life scene rather than people who would be affected by their son’s mysterious connection to another planet.