KarenMartin

The text has a few awkward transitions, like “The balding Fat Man, understanding, quickly pushed over a large, comfortable chair.” It’s a bit choppy. Also some repeated phrases like “swollen cheek” appears twice in short span. The writing could use a good edit for flow and variety. But for a web novel, this level of polish is not unusual; the emphasis is on pacing and plot progression rather than prose beauty.

The "consciousness space" being a domain of "infinite power" is a cool concept. It's like a mental training room. I hope he uses it for more than just fighting ghosts. Could he practice skills there? Summon characters to train against? The potential for internal growth is huge.