One thing I noticed: the MC's internal monologue is very direct and a bit crude ("unconsciously licked his lips", "spring had arrived, time to sow seeds"). It fits the villain vibe but might be off-putting for some readers. For me, it added to the edgy, anti-hero charm. Not for everyone though.
That detail about Xiao Yao being a belly dance instructor and being called too fat? Irony alert. But also, she has a belly for her job, and she’s still insecure from her accident. That’s such a real human moment. Not a damsel in distress—just a woman tired of being judged.
Leng Chujiu's personality shines through. She's determined, clever, and not afraid to be unconventional. Despite her humble appearance, she has a strong will. I also like that she isn't just a Mary Sue who gets everything handed to her – she actively schemes and acts. The eagle incident proves that.
Li Wei's reaction to the driver—trembling, stepping back, covered in cold sweat—feels completely believable. Anyone would freak out seeing a guy appear and disappear with thunder. And his internal curses add just enough comic relief to keep the scene from being too heavy.
The setup of the twin brothers having tea right next to the waiting room is very convenient for plot, but I'm willing to forgive it because of the drama it creates. Making us wait alongside Liz, feeling that initial sting of being disrespected, really puts us in her corner emotionally even though she's being insufferably arrogant. "Were you looking down on the Bertrand Duke's Family?" That's a genuine threat she threw.