1 The evidence booklet was a smart inclusion. It not only proves Jiang Chen's innocence but also exposes Li Chengqi's past crimes. It turns the whole incident from a simple assassination into a conspiracy. That's good plot layering.
The pacing in this excerpt is fast and furious. We start with exposition, quickly move to the conflict about the letter, then the confrontation, the chase, and the cliffhanger with the grandmother. No boring filler. I appreciate that the author doesn’t spend pages describing the setting or backstory; it all comes naturally through the characters’ actions and dialogue. The only part that felt a little rushed was when Lu An burns the letter—I wanted to savor that moment more, but it’s over in a few lines. Still, that keeps the tension high. The chase scene is great: father trying to catch son, son dodging and talking back. It’s almost like a comedy sketch, but with serious stakes. The introduction of the grandmother as the potential savior is a good narrative trick—it leaves me eager to see what happens next. I would say this excerpt has a “page-turner” quality. I finished it feeling satisfied but wanting more.
I love the swordsman character even if he’s just a minor figure. He’s carrying this huge broadsword and speaks his mind without fear, calling out the hypocrisy of the immortals even when they’re literally right outside. That line about how they "disarmed Jiao Mu Xing Jun and pulled his tendons out" is brutal. You really get the sense that the system of justice is completely broken in this world.
The guild registration scene is a reward for the reader. The receptionist taking one look at her fancy noble clothes and getting snarky, then Tempest just cutting her finger without flinching and healing it instantly? Chefs kiss. It's the perfect 'I am not what you think I am' introduction to the adventurer world.
The scene where Su Chen tears Han Qianrou's clothes had me rolling my eyes. It felt like it was trying too hard to be edgy. The line "I told you, I'm not a eunuch, but the True Dragon Son of Heaven!" made me cringe a bit. It's trying to combine power fantasy with sexual vengeance, and it didn't fully land for me. I think a more subtle revenge would have been more satisfying, like outsmarting her or humiliating her through exposure of her crimes. But the route they went was... too explicit.