All in all, this excerpt delivers what it promises: a face-slapping revenge fantasy with a hidden identity twist and a family heart. The execution is rough around the edges, but the energy is infectious. I'd give it a 6/10 for now, with potential to improve if the author relaxes the pacing and deepens the characters.
The decision to rent in the new city district because the base will be built on the northern mountain is smart military strategy. She’s using her knowledge of the future layout to choose a location that will stay accessible and secure. Good thinking.
Xiaoyu immediately stole my heart. The way she carefully saved the bread for her grandma even though she was clearly starving? And then she carries that boiling pig feed without complaining because she thinks it'll help her grandma's eyes? That hit me right in the feels. I was already rooting for Qin Yun to succeed, but after seeing his daughter suffer like that, I NEED him to get revenge.
I really want to know what Gu Ruyi actually did that night. Qingcheng hints that she was set up, but we don't have details yet. The mystery keeps me guessing. Did she hire the traffickers? Did she stage the flat tire? The author is holding back the reveal well.
One detail that struck me as odd but realistic: the students just chatting loudly in class about heroic spirits and cultivation methods while the teacher is standing right there. The teacher doesn't even react. That behavior is so weird it's unsettling. It makes you question what's real and what's part of the illusion. The class monitor pushing up her glasses and sharing her thoughts felt like a normal kid moment, but in this context it added to the unease.
The dialogue feels natural. The way characters talk, especially the gossipy girls and the aggressive Yang Likai, matches how real people speak. The swearing, the slang, the awkward pauses. It's not overly polished or poetic, which makes it more believable. Even Zhou Peiyu's internal monologue when he realizes he screwed up by mentioning the forum, that felt genuine.